Sensation Play - a SHAG Mini-Workshop - PART 4

January 26, 2022

Sensation Play - a SHAG Mini-Workshop - PART 4

Hosted by Dirty Lola
Watch on IG @weloveshag
YouTube @weloveshag

If you haven’t checked out parts 1, 2, and 3 of this workshop, read the transcripts here, here, here, and here!

If you do not want dildos all over the house like I do, there are certainly more subtle sensation tools available to you. For one thing, you can have a lot of fun playing with food. The younger generation might not know the film Nine and a Half Weeks, but there it features a very famous sex scene involving food. They sit in front of the refrigerator while she’s blindfolded and he feeds her different foods. That is absolutely something you can try. The only restriction to keep in mind is that you don't want to get food around the vaginal area, because of yeast infections. Using food as taste or scent sensation tools is okay though! If you don't mind getting a little messy, you can try honey, fruits, and all kinds of different things. Keep in mind that if you're feeding your partner, you need to make sure you don't feed them things they're allergic to. If you're not sure, ask. I like to ask in advance for a list of things they could possibly be allergic to.

Not all of these sensation play options have to be used at once! You can pick three or four things and plan a whole scene with just that! For example, you could start out just with dirty talk, then give your partner a massage, to relax. That's great! The massage could turn into a little light spanking, or you could use one of the implements or toys. Then, you could move into using a softer tool, like the Wartenberg Wheel or a tickler. Whenever you do spanking or anything with impact, or even, as I mentioned, dripping wax from candles, you make the skin more sensitive. This means that, while a tickler or wheel might not provide the most exciting sensation alone, either one used after a spanking, when the ass is incredibly tingly, could result in very powerful sensations.

One thing that can get overlooked in planning a scene is talking about what kind of tone or vibe you’re hoping for. You could have a serious scene, but you could also have a silly one. Sometimes people like to laugh during sex, and that's great! I laugh all the time, and it's fine; you don’t have to keep things totally serious to stay in the moment or stay sexy. You might tell your partner in advance that while tickling them, you’re going to do your best to be cute and make them laugh by doing things that are ridiculous or funny. Or you might decide you want a sexy vibe with sexy music to keep the scene going. Time for some Portishead. Maybe this is a roleplay scene in which everything needs to be black leather or rubber, and the partner doling out the sensations as punishment speaks in a harsh German accent. There is no wrong answer. You and your partner can make your sensation play be anything that is authentic, fun, or sexy to you both. The main goal with any theme or tone is to keep you both centered so you can concentrate on the sensations in your body and not get lost in your head. For example, I start thinking of laundry, and my partner knows that. So, he talks to me throughout. He will ask me questions, and I have to say yes or no, which keeps me present and engaged. Because we play this way, I don’t end up distracted (and turned off) by whatever else is going on in my mind.

Another fun trick is to have the blindfolded receiving partner try to guess what toy or tool made a particular sensation. This keeps everyone mentally stimulated and in the moment, but is also very sexy. Sexy or dirty talk can play a role here, too. You can recount a sex story of your own, tell each other stories, or reminisce about a shared adventure. It's all about building a bond that will increase your pleasure and connection. With new partners, this kind of back and forth can be great because it provides an opportunity to learn more about what the person likes. At my house, I have a lot of supplies, so I bring out tons of options, I keep them near the bed, and then it’s fun to look at them all, or come up with new ways to use them in new places on the body. Personally, I am a bottom, but I like talking sometimes during a scene. Telling stories about the toys or experiences can be a nice way to get to know each other better and also communicate what sensation you’re craving next during the scene.

If you are a fan of sensation play and bondage, then you might be very excited by Shibari, a Japanese rope bondage technique. You and your partner could decide to take a class together! Shibari, in particular, is a great way to indulge in sensation play because you’re tying the knots by hand. The rope provides a lot of sensation already, and then, once someone is bound, they are very still and immobile. You could add a blindfold while you’re tying the knots and designs, or your partner can watch you work as they are tied up. Our wonderful Shibari classes at SHAG are great for a date night or special occasion, but they are also great for just exploring your kink limits together. Our Shibari classes are regularly scheduled. You come and learn how to tie the knots, and you can talk about the topping and bottoming roles in rope bondage. You will both get to learn how to do the knots, so the person being tied up gets to feel an extra level of trust, knowing how it all works. Because the bottom line is, the more somebody trusts what's happening, the more pleasure is possible. If somebody is tense and scared, if they have even an inkling of fear that their partner is going to run away and leave them handcuffed to the bed, they are not going to enjoy it. No matter what you’re doing, trust is key. If they trust and they know everything's cool, that they are safe, then it's going to be a much more heightened experience.

Both browsing the store for sensation toys and taking a class together to learn a new skill can be great ways to connect with your partner while talking to them about what fantasies or scenarios they are inclined to try with you. But even if you are not local to New York, browsing our webstore together can provide some of the same titillations, and, as a bonus, you are already at home and can shop in whatever state of undress you please. If you’d like to broach the topic of sensation play with your partner by introducing this workshop, remember that you can re-watch all of our free mini-workshops on Instagram or YouTube at any time. Thank you so much!

**This text was transcribed from SHAG’s live Mini-Workshop on January 26, 2022 and edited for clarity. This opinion piece is not intended to constitute licensed expert advice; all content is for general informational purposes only.**