Sensation Play - a SHAG Mini-Workshop - PART 3

January 26, 2022

Sensation Play - a SHAG Mini-Workshop - PART 3

Hosted by Dirty Lola
Watch on IG @weloveshag
YouTube @weloveshag

If you haven’t checked out parts 1 and 2 of this workshop, read the transcripts here and here!

Everything we’ve discussed so far can be layered together in different, exciting ways to add sensation to your play! Let your imagination run wild. For example, you could apply some liquid vibrator when you're starting, so your partner is already having a build up of sensation while you're doing all these other things. It's warming them up while you warm them up, which is like having three hands, because something's happening down there while you're doing other things to their body, flipping them around, moving them around. Ideally, they still have the blindfold on and you’re playing with all these options. That, in my opinion, is the perfect sensation play scenario for introducing toys!

You can use any toy – all toys create sensations, after all – but to enhance sensation play, in particular, I recommend this vibrator that gets warm or cold at the push of a button, in addition to vibrating! There are four buttons. There's a snowflake for cooling and a sun for getting hot, and then the other buttons control the vibration modes and speeds. This is rechargeable and it has a nice little curve in it, so you can use it for clitoral stuff, but you can also use it for g-spot stimulation. The curve combined with the little flat head make it great for that. I would not say this one is a complete rumble, but it’s not totally buzzy either, in terms of vibration quality. When we talk about vibration quality in toys, buzzy tends to refer to toys that elicit more surface, top, sharp sensations, whereas rumbly tends to mean toys that create very deep sensations that reverberate within the body. If you have ever used a Magic Wand, those represent the epitome of rumbly vibrations. But buzzy or rumbly, vibrations, anywhere on the body, can be a great addition to sensation play.

With all these tools at your disposal, you truly have a lot of creative freedom in deciding how your sensation play will unfold. If someone is restrained, you can read erotica while they are all bound up, or you can put a vibrator in them or on them. In that scenario, the receiving partner cannot move the toy themselves. You could also turn the toy on, read a sexy story to them, and only then add a blindfold. A fun option is to move around things they have seen once they're blindfolded, to disorient and surprise them.

I do want to mention that we have these lovely aphrodisiac lollipops by Pandora Pops. These are handmade locally in small batches, and they have herbs in them like damiana that contribute to arousal by increasing your blood flow. A lollipop could stimulate just one more sensation – taste – during your play session! You could share the candy...maybe you take a lick and then you give them a lick, whatever feels right. Sensation play is truly playful. It’s all about adding elements to your partner’s physical experience, heightening their sensations, and then continuing to do more, build, and surprise.

Finally, on the topic of edible sensations, now that it's legal in New York and a lot of other states, we can talk about cannabinoids as well. People ask about this a lot, and there are, of course, so many different strains and things. As with everything discussed here, please incorporate that into play only with partners you trust! Certainly THC, CBD, and other cannabinoids, in different strains or combinations, can enhance sensation play. While your partner is getting more intoxicated by both cannabis and arousal, you can keep adding sensations, which can make for a really heady mix!

As with any sexy scene, the more communication during sensation play, the better. Communication is going to keep it sexy. One fun way to accomplish this is to announce what you are going to do before you do it or as you do it. Of course, it depends on your partner. They might prefer that you ask if they want each sensation, or they might prefer that you surprise them. The huge human variety of preferences and turn-ons is why these details are something to think about and discuss with your partner in advance. Will you both enjoy yourselves more if you are announcing each step, or will it be more pleasurable to keep things a surprise? And that answer might depend on the day or the mood. Besides being just personal preference, this can really depend on if people are more in their head at that moment, if they are nervous, or if they need you to walk them through each thing to keep them focused. Performing sexy talk, getting really close to their face but not touching them, breathing or lightly blowing on them, whispering sexy things into their ears, asking them if they want more, if they want to keep going, and so forth, are all great options for both communicating and playing with sensation at once. Asking if your partner wants more is also a fun way of checking in with how they are doing, without having to stop and literally ask how they are doing. You can stay in the moment while still checking in to see if they want more or if they need a break.

A break during sensation play can mean a lot of things. If someone is bound, you might unbind them, but leave them blindfolded, or perhaps just hold them. It could be some mid-play aftercare, cradling, or cuddling. You can whisper your check in, asking if they like what you are doing. Consent and communication can be sexy and incorporated into play rather than a jarring halt. It's truly just about tone of voice and how you phrase the ideas. There’s a big difference between “I don’t know, buddy, if this is going to feel sexy, so lemme know, huh?” versus sweetly whispering, “Baby girl, do you need more of this? You want a little less? How about this? Did you like that?” While you’re doing it, you can get really specific: “Oh, you like the tickler on your nipples?” or “Oh, you don’t like it when the vibrator is on the cold setting?” This way, you’re getting real time feedback from them, which is a great way to connect more closely with your partner. Real time feedback can also be very sexy to watch. You get to play the voyeur, watching your partner’s body language and seeing them reacting without self-consciousness. That is one reason I really do suggest starting with a blindfold; often when we cannot see, our minds can stop trying to control things so much. Instead of trying to look sexy, the receiving partner can just enjoy. The first time you play with being tied up, you might still think about how you look, but sensation play can help you get into the moment, let go, and stop trying to control that.

I know I'm usually worried about, for example, if my mascara is running down under the mask, but then, if my partner tells me that it’s so sexy that my mascara is running, it totally turns things around. I know they like the thing that used to make me self-conscious, and next time I don’t have to put in the effort of waterproof mascara, which just removes one more stressor and allows me to relax and enjoy. Having those kinds of gentle conversations mid-play, as well as talking before you start, is really key when introducing anything new to either partner. Some things to consider might include setting a time limit, if the receiving partner wants to know all the details in advance or if they enjoy some surprises in the moment, and what kind of verbal checking-in is hot or keeps them in the scene. If you’re introducing things either one of you is on the fence about, talking over the details is especially important. For a lot of people, butt stuff is something they definitely want to discuss beforehand. They might just need to prep a little bit for it, not because they don’t want something in the butt, but because they want the opportunity to prepare however they might do so if it wasn’t a sensation play scene. That might just mean taking a good shower once they know butt play is a possibility for the session.

In other words, you or your partner might want to prepare with X, Y, or Z, because you know that tonight those are options on the table. Laying everything out can be equal parts anticipation and prep! If you live together, you can put it all out and say “This is for tonight,” and then you both pass the toys and props all day, building anticipation. Of course, if you live with kids, you might want to get a padlock for your room or arrange a sleepover for the little ones at someone else’s house for special nights. As I say to my nephew, “If you play nosy games, you win nosy prizes!” Listen, I have a buttplug painting on my wall, and I have dildos all around the house, and so I learn to navigate these conversations as kids express curiosity. Which is to say, where you play, when you play, and how you set up your play, are all important things to consider to keep things sexy and not stressful.

**This text was transcribed from SHAG’s live Mini-Workshop on January 26, 2022 and edited for clarity. This opinion piece is not intended to constitute licensed expert advice; all content is for general informational purposes only.**