24 Days of Pleasure & Play at SHAG: Consent Is Sexy (Yes, Really)

1 day ago

Welcome to Day 6 of 24 Days of Pleasure & Play at SHAG: CONSENT - Tackling a topic we keep getting wrong: Consent. What is wrongly often labeled as a buzzkill, should be seen as foreplay.

We’ve been conditioned to think consent is clinical, awkward and worst of all, unsexy.

Consent isn't some sort of legal disclaimer before sex. In fact when done right, consent is an intimate and affirming way to flirt and deeply connect with your partner. It’s an important part of communication that makes someone feel wanted, desired, and safe enough to let go.

🔥 Why Consent is a Turn-On

When someone checks in with you, it communicates:

“I’m paying attention.”
“I care about your experience.”
"I want you to enjoy this.”

And one of the sexiest, scientifically proven aphrodisiacs is being seen, heard, and prioritized. People open up when they feel safe. Desire flows when pressure drops. Bodies respond when they’re not bracing. Consent is not the opposite of heat — consent is a foundation for it.

💋 Sexy Consent Sounds Like:

“I really want to kiss you. Is that okay?”
“I want you — tell me how you like it.”
“I love when you respond like that. Want more?”
“You don’t have to be polite. Tell me if you want to stop or change anything.”
“This feels so good. Tell me what you want next.”

Notice: Still hot. Still confident. Still leading. No spreadsheets required.
Consent doesn’t kill the mood — it creates anticipation, clarity, and permission.

✨ What Makes Consent Sexy

Presence “I’m here with you, not performing sex-at-you.”
Enthusiasm “I want this — and I want you to want it too.”
Agency “You get to shape this with me.”
Confidence Asking is not weak — it’s dominant in the most delicious way.
Feedback “Your pleasure matters.”
Tell me that’s not hot.

🌿 Consent for the Shy, Awkward, or Anxiously Attached

If direct language feels scary, start simple:

“Do you like this?”
“More or less?”
“Slower or faster?”
“Want to keep going?”

Or even:

“Tell me what feels good.”

Because asking is not an interrogation — it’s a collaboration.

💡 Consent Can Be Silent, Too

Not everything needs words:

pausing
checking in with eye contact
noticing body language
staying attuned

That’s still consent. That’s still sexy.

⚠️ What Consent is Not

“You said yes earlier, so you have to follow through.”
“Just go with it.”
“Don’t ruin the mood.”
Coercion
Pressure
Manipulation

If someone is not enthusiastic, present, or comfortable — stop. Sexy consent is rooted in mutual excitement, not compliance.

🔥 How to Make Consent Hot Tonight

Try a line like:

“I want you — can I show you how?”
“Tell me what you want me to do.”
“Can I touch you here?”
“Say yes if this feels good.”

Or the powerful, devastating:

“If you don’t like something, tell me, and I’ll adjust. I want you to enjoy this as much as I do.”

If you don’t melt at that, you might be frozen food.

💋 Today’s Takeaway

Consent isn’t policing desire. Consent is desire with communication, clarity, and confidence. It’s not the opposite of sexy. It’s the structure that allows sexy thrive. Because nothing is hotter than being wanted, being safe, and being chosen with intention.

Happy Day 6. Ask. Listen. Respond. Turns out, confidence and care make really, really good bedfellows.