Dear Dixon,

My question to you is "How much is too much?".  A lot of times, when sitting around and chatting with the girls, stories about our sex lives come up.  I am very free and open when it comes to sex, so I feel no need to sugar-coat my experiences.  But what frequently happens is that I tell a story (let's say, for example, of having sex outside in Central Park in broad daylight) and my friends get this expression on their faces and I hear sharp intakes of breath, and they say "OMG I would never do that!" and look at me in a very strange way.  In situations like this I feel like I am the wrong-doer: wrong for telling this story and/or wrong for doing something that many feel is crossing the line.  So how much is too much?  Too much information?  Too much freedom with my behavior?  I would like to add that generally my friends are very open minded when it comes to sex (and everything else), which makes me wonder that perhaps I am crossing some sort of social line into the abnormal...What do you think?  Thanks!

-- Little P

Hey Lil P!

First of all, I think it is great that you are so open to talking about your exciting sex life! I feel we are encouraged to believe that anything beyond missionary style sex is kinky. Just read a "sexy" article out of any woman's magazine, and you will find all sorts of articles with ideas of how to spice up your sex life that seem pretty tame!

To answer your questions though: You do whatever you want (as long as it is not too illegal)! Life is too short to censor yourself. People are always searching for what is "normal." Well, there is no normal, especially when it comes to sex. As one of the most complex creatures, and one of the only creatureson the planet that has sex for fun, we have developed all sorts of accoutrements to our reproductive regimen. If you can think of it, there is someone who is into it. There are people who are excited by anything from car crashes to fur and anything and everything in between.

As for your friend's reactions, there are two possibilities. One is that they are really excited by your adventurous lifestyle, but none of them wants to be the non-conformist of the group and admit it. I once had a boyfriend who constantly made fun of bondage, and especially ball gags. After a while, I discovered it was because that is what he secretly wanted, but he was afraid that I would think he was a "freak."

The other possibility is that they just are not into the same things you are, which is totally fine! If this is something that happens a lot, you might want to tell your friends that their reactions are somewhat hurtful, and that you want to be able to trust them and share your exciting stories with them. If they still can't handle your tantalizing tales, sadly, you may just have to keep some things to yourself during girl talk, or else risk their harsh reactions.

Personally, I have one really good friend to whom I tell EVERYTHING in it's dirtiest form. Everyone else gets the R rated version. 

But the main point I would stress here is: Keep doing what you are doing, sexually!! There is nothing wrong with it!!

--Dixon

Ask Dixon your sexy questions for Shag Brooklyn's Dear Dixon advice column! E-mail your questions about sexual relations, kink, health and relationships to deardixon@live.com, and she will answer them as best she can!