Dear Dixon,
I love to please a woman. Most people would think this is not a problem, but for me it is! I really don't care about getting off, I just want to get my partners off. In fact, it's really hard for me to come at all if I have not taken care of my lady first. It's not that I don't enjoy getting blow jobs or having sex, that's just not what gets me going! Now I am in a serious relationship, and my girl is worried that the reason I don't want her to get me off is that she is not good at it. I have tried to explain to her many times that I just really love pleasuring her, but still she is insecure. What do you think I can do to remedy this problem?
-- The Giver
Dear Giver,
First and foremost, you need to tell your gal that she is a great lover and she really turns you on. Sometimes we think we have told people how we feel, but unless you tell her in plain, clear words, she may not get the message.
Next, think of how much it turns you on to get her off, imagine that she gets the same satisfaction from your pleasure. Would you deny her that? You can only get your way some of the time! Relationships usually involve some compromise, and this is one of the issues you may have to compromise on.
Lastly, for the times when it is all about her, preface the encounter by telling her that you are going to pamper her and it's going to be all about her! It will dispel some some of the discomfort she feels, knowing that she can just enjoy herself, and not feel pressured to pleasure you. If you guys are comfortable with this, you might even want to tie her hands above her head, or just have her hold them there. This will enable her to just focus on what you are doing to her, and not worry about getting you off as well. Again, this will help her to not feel obligated to pleasure you at the same time.
-- Dixon
Ask Dixon your sexy questions for Shag Brooklyn's Dear Dixon advice column! E-mail your questions about sexual relations, kink, health and relationships to deardixon@live.com, and she will answer them as best she can!
|
